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Lizard
My parents hired Liz (or "Lizard" as Lindsay
called her) after going through a couple other unsuccessful
non-English-speaking "nannies". There
was a definite language/cultural barrier with the
previous ladies. I don't know all the details. Just
didn't work out, I guess. I kinda remember when
I first met Liz. We went to someone's house...maybe
a relative of hers? Liz was living there. She was
way more Americanized than #1 and #2. Don't how
old she was at the time. Don't know if she was a
US citizen, or not. I'm guessing the other two weren't.
Liz was all around better though, for sure.
She stayed in the room next to mine, which was formerly
Mom's home office. I remember being happy when they
took the office out, because every night, when I
would go to bed and try to sleep, all I could hear
(even over the sound of my cassette tapes) was mom
typing and talking on the phone in there. I would
plug my ears so hard with my fingers that it hurt.
And I'd try to drown it out by humming until I'd
maybe fall asleep. But, back to Liz...
Her friends were all 80s metal heads...ala Motley
Crew. Mom didn't like when they came to visit. Kinda
sucks for Liz...not being able to have friends over.
But, I can see why a parent of two young children
wouldn't want those crazy hoodlums around. I remember
there was a period of time when both Tim and Liz
were living with us, and the two of them got into
a fight. Mom and Dad weren't home. Neither was I.
She told me about it though. Tim was apparently
yelling at her for her choice of friends and for
her TV channel selection (MTV). He told her that
it would encourage me to do something stupid, like
jump off a bridge. Oh my. Oh Tim.
Liz was also married....but I'll discuss Steven
at a later time.
She sometimes smelled of wild onions. Quite fiercely.
Sort of a big gal. Big hair. Big frame. Big boobs.
I saw them once by accident. I was traumatized.
Her nipples were extremely dark....and also big.
She had a great laugh. Very jolly. But once in a
while, you could get her to do the power laugh.
This laugh got way up there. It was almost like
a donkey with the hiccups. Like a high-pitched version
of the Revenge of the Nerds laugh. It was like she
was gasping for air. Hilarious.
I remember two power-laugh occasions in particular.
The first was around Christmas time, when She, Lindsay,
and I were recording stories on my cassette player.
I wanted to see if she could tell stories as well
as my Dad. So, the three of us sat in the living
room and she and I told stories. As I was telling
my story, Liz was a laugh attack, and it was killing
me. The other occasion was during an "adult"
conversation I overheard in the kitchen. My parents
had friends over, and they were all joking around.
And Dad made a comment about Liz's huge boobs. He
said they looked like giant stuffed socks...or something
like that. So later that night, Liz had to sleep
in my room to make room for the guests in her room.
She was bottom-bunking it. I was up top. We were
chatting, and I randomly repeated the comment about
the sock boobs. Oh man...the laugh was great. She
had a serious case of the giggles that night. I
think I had also built a fort out of the bottom
bunk during that time....so she was sleeping in
there.
She and I had our disagreements from time to time,
but over-all, she was pretty cool. |
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